Everyone knows the saying “opposites attract”. At some point, you gotta get out of your comfort zone and not only try to date people that like or do all the same things as you. Trust me, I love how great 2018 has been and how ‘woke’ people are trying to get but as we are on the heels of Black History Month, here’s a little PSA for the men trying to get with black women.
1. Stop Calling us Exotic
You’re overcompensating and I guess that you think the way to a black woman’s heart is to use words like “exotic” to describe why you like them. Turns out, when I think of the word exotic, I think of a toucan sitting on a tree branch in Belize. You know, something to take a picture of and/or stare at. Exotic things are out of the ordinary which would be cool to bring up or point out if you didn’t see it every day. Living in a place that has literally been named the most multicultural city in the world means that hey buddy, I’m not the first black woman you’ve seen with braids roaming around so try speaking to me like that.
2. Stop Asking to Touch Our Hair
It’s just weird. I’ll throw in a spoiler alert, it feels like hair. It is so funny how you guys ask about it too. It always starts off with you saying something like “wow! - I love your hair, it’s so cool” and then you start to stare at it. This is usually when I start rolling my eyes because the next question is always “can I touch it? Is that weird? Do you mind?”
I used to straight up say “yeah, I do mind” but because I would instantly have to go into a speech of why that’s so weird and I got annoyed of having to repeat myself so I just gave up. Now I wait for them to touch my hair, tell them it’s super weird that they touched my hair and then watch them frantically try to win back my affection. I think my all time favourite encounter was when a dude told me my hair felt like carpet and still thought I was going to find the flattery in that and take him home.
3. Stop Calling our Braids Dreads.
I mean, this one actually makes me laugh so hard. If you don’t know the difference between dreads and braids, that’s totally cool (it’s not) but it’s literally like me going up to man with a buzz cut and telling him I love his man bun. It’s hard to want to date you if I already think you’re stupid.
So now that we have cleared all of that up, get out there and use the super wack pick-up lines you’ve been using to try to get girls but now, try not to insult them or eagerly touch extensions of their bodies because, well, it’s creepy and annoying. Do a little research before you blurt out something stupid and I’m sure you’ll live out your exotic fairytale in no time!*
*no guarantees
Written by: Tamara Shevon